If Your Ex Never Contacts You Again

Today I'm going to prove you the three virtually prevalent thoughts that your ex is thinking about if they don't contact you.

It'due south probably also relevant to mention that each of these three things that I'm going to talk about today are based on my experience equally a coach and founded on laurels winning inquiry (more on that in a minute.)

So, if you've always wondered what is going on in your exes mind when they don't contact you lot look no further.

Your answers are below!

What The Heck Is Your Ex Thinking About When They Don't Contact You?

In all there are iii thoughts or overlying concepts that are going to be very prevalent in your exes mind if they don't contact you,

1. The Pendulum Swing
2. They Have To Contact Me First
3. The Tiptop End Rule

Now, I don't expect y'all to empathize whatever of these concepts. In fact, I'd be shocked if you did because exactly one third of the answers are from my own findings and I oasis't really talked about it that much.

But I'm rambling.

The remainder of this article is going to be very direct forrard.

I'1000 going to define each of these concepts for you.

Let'due south begin with my personal favorite.

1. What Is "The Pendulum Swing?"

Before I outset getting philosophical I'd like to ask you if you know what a pendulum is?

No?

Well, rather than accept me sit here and explicate it for you it's probably amend if I show information technology to you,

Essentially it'south something that swings from left to right.

Generally you lot'll see a lot of physics professors using it to explain one of newtons laws but I actually recall information technology's the perfect analogy to describe what goes on inside of someone when they go through a breakup.

Pretend for a moment that the pendulum really was an indicator for how y'all were feeling internally later on a breakdown,

On ane side of the spectrum (the left side) you lot accept all of the bad feelings you could be feeling,

• Anger
• Resentment
• Depression

And on the other side of the spectrum (the right side) you have all the good feelings that yous could exist feeling,

• Missing your ex
• Loving your ex
• Wanting to get dorsum together

Almost of my clients would kill to have their exes experience this manner about them.

Speaking of clients, ane mutual complaint I hear from them near their exes is that they wish they didn't get all of these mixed signals.

One moment their ex is asking them something similar,

Exercise you ever call up about getting back together?

Almost implying that they do want to get back together and so the next minute they can't get a response from them. They are left in that awful limbo state.

The pendulum explains what is going on in this instance.

Over the years I've witnessed an interesting design taking place.

Exes tend to go through a pendulum of emotions after a breakup.

Where i moment they start feeling proficient,

And the next moment they first feeling bad,

It'southward during these "bad moments" that you'll observe that your ex doesn't want to talk to you.

Interesting to think that at that place is this internal battle going on within your ex, isn't it?

Simply if you doubt this concept exists I'd similar to turn your attention to your own experience with breakups. You've probably experienced this pendulum of emotions, haven't you lot?

Then, that is the first thing going on in your exes head after a breakdown that would cause them to not contact you lot.

Let's motility on to another common thought I meet a lot of the fourth dimension.

ii. They Have To Contact Me Kickoff

I desire to show y'all something.

Concord on for a moment while I look information technology up…

Ah, at that place it is,

This is a picture of me taken about ten years ago a few weeks later I had been through a breakup.

Await how awful I look.

I'one thousand kidding!

Anyways, I posted this picture because every single fourth dimension I look at it I think of that interruption upward.

I remember very clearly I had a mantra,

There is no mode I'thousand contacting her first, she is going to contact me

I'm pretty stubborn.

I am a taurus subsequently all.

Anyways, my ex was pretty stubborn as well which meant that we were in the midst of an epic stand up off,

Peradventure the most interesting affair was the reasoning for why I wouldn't contact her first.

X years ago I was 18 years erstwhile.

Which meant that I wasn't exactly the most experienced with relationships. It besides meant I still bought into this idea that after every suspension up there is a winner and a loser.

And in my mind I'd showtime to "lose the breakdown" if I reached out to my ex.

Therefore, she was going to take to talk to me beginning if she wanted to talk to me.

You're dying to know who contacted who outset, aren't you?

Information technology was her.

She was actually very clever in how she approached it to.

Yous see, in 2008 Hurricane Ike hitting my hometown,

I grew up in a piddling identify called Friendswood, Texas which is very shut to where the video above was taken.

Anyways, the Hurricane went over our house and she reached out to check on me and brand sure I was ok.

To this day I have always regretted how hateful I was to her when she reached out. You come across, upon seeing that I was "winning the breakup" I got very arrogant and said something like this to her,

I regret it because I think she was just trying to be nice but "winning the breakup" was more important to me at the time.

Anyways, I am telling you this story because I want you to run across how seriously some people take this concept of making you reach out first.

And it could exist going through your exes mind if they don't talk to you.

3. The Meridian Stop Rule

The top-finish rule has been revolutionary for my book readers who have really embraced it.

Why?

Considering it gives you insight into how human beings think and human action when they remember experiences.

So, what is "the height-end dominion?"

Put simply, human beings remember experiences based on how they felt at the tiptop of the experience (it's near intense function) and the stop of the experience.

In other words, when we recall back to experiences we don't account for the sum of it's parts we account for by and large those ii parts.

It looks a little similar this,

Those two snapshots of fourth dimension make up the bulk of our retentiveness when we think dorsum to the experience.

So, what does this accept to do with your ex non contacting yous.

Well, information technology's really an extension of what I talked nearly above with the pendulum.

If you lot retrieve, the pendulum moves from left to right, from bad to good.

The peak-cease rule describes the motivation for why the pendulum moves.

Consider for a moment that your ex is remembering your time together and they start thinking about the peak,

The pinnacle of your experience together is arguably the strongest and nigh exciting part to think virtually.

Most likely information technology'southward going to cause the pendulum to swing to the right,

A few days afterward your ex starts to retrieve the stop of your relationship,

This of class causes the pendulum to swing to the left as they remember how bad they felt at the finish of your time together,

Do you lot encounter how these to concepts work together in tandem?

Do yous see some of the motivation behind why your ex may not want to talk to you?

It'south pretty crazy, right?

Allow's practise a quick recap because I dropped some advanced stuff onto your plate that I usually only save for my clients.

Conclusion

What nosotros talked about today is pretty avant-garde so I'thousand sure in that location will be a lot of questions in the comments. If you didn't already know I answer all of my comments personally.

Sometimes I'm a little slow nearly getting dorsum to people but they practice become answered eventually.

So, don't hesitate to ask a question if something confuses you.

Let's practise a quick recap,

• The are iii prevalent thoughts that your ex is likely to think virtually if they don't contact you
• The pendulum
• I'm not going to contact them first, they'll have to contact me first
• The top end rule
• The pendulum is merely an analogy for the trajectory your emotions take after a suspension up
• Adopting a mindset of "they'll have to contact me first" is an example of stubbornness
• The peak end dominion describes the motivation for why your exes emotions chance trajectory afterwards a break up

Again, if yous take any questions don't hesitate to enquire them below.

gonzalezbeciond66.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/what-is-your-ex-thinking-if-they-dont-contact-you/